Ben, Babies, and Justin Bieber

Just a little something funny to end the week...

Amidst my ramblings and updates, I've been asked, "Just how IS Ben handling everything?"
(Everything = dental school + being D2 Class Prez + taking care of a sick and pregnant wife for almost 9 months + insert malady here)

Well, rather than TELL you that he's nothing shy of amazing (anyone find a halo for him yet?? I'm still looking for one that's big enough...), I thought I'd just show you. Or, more accurately, let him show you himself.

He's been keeping sane in "other" ways....

(ahem)

A parody of Justine Bieber's "Boyfriend," as told by his D2 class.

Watch & ENJOY!!  =)

(He's Dr. KlossyFloss...)

 

Have a great weekend, everyone!!

...I'll be writing... :D

Feeling a Bit Spoiled...

...and I don't mean like bad food.

Ew.

No, I (finally) started organizing things for Baby Kloss' room; after all, he'll be here NEXT MONTH. O_O But whilst I was busy, washing miniature clothing and socks and blankets in Dreft, I was...completely humbled.

Everything he has - every single item in that room - was a gift.  I couldn't - and still can't - believe all the support given by family and friends. Whether wrapped in paper or an email, it's all been incredibly overwhelming and humbling. That you would send anything to welcome our little boy to the world means soooooo much to us, and I just needed to reiterate THANK YOU.

Thank you for showering him (and us!) with so much love and support; we can't wait for him to meet you all!!!

That's all =)

Love,
The Kloss'

...SURVIVAL...(a.k.a. the 3rd Trimester)

   "Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you."

~ Albus Dumbledore

Probably one of my favorite quotes ever. 

No, it's not earth-shattering or philosophical, nor does it even make sense, but that's PRECISELY why I love it. In fact, I wish I could choose one of those words at random to deploy when necessary. Like when people notice my rounding waistline and ask, "How are you feeling?" I could reply, "NITWIT!"

Ugh.

UghughughughUGH.

Well, some of you know that I haven't EXACTLY had a pleasant pregnancy (<---see earlier post) - granted, it could be worse. Much worse. But SHEESH. 32.2 weeks of nausea, food aversions (to, like, EVERYTHING), and persistent brain malfunction does something to a person's psyche, ya know? 

I had HOPED it would get better - and in some ways it has. But there are a few additional "minor" things I wasn't adequately prepared for. And how should one handle these so-called "minor" things? I'll tell you how I'm doing it: It's called SURVIVAL MODE. 

- BLUBBER! - 

1st Minor Addition: BABY MOVES...A TON.

At first it was cute - really cute. But then he started kicking my ribs and jumping on my bladder (had to pull over TWICE on a 1.5 hour drive to Tucson. NOT cute.) and shoving his back against my side so hard it felt like my skin's about to rip open.

How to survive? ... Acceptance. There not much else one can do about it, because there really isn't much space for the little man in there. So, I've succumbed to my fate of having my insides warped and rearranged, which leads me to...

2nd Minor Addition: ACID REFLUX.

I had a couple of friends warn me about this, but OHMYGOSHIHADNOIDEA!!

There I was, so happy I could stomach a bratwurst and beans AND dessert. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been able to eat a full meal in the past 8 months. In fact, I can empathize...

 ...and eating that full meal made me happy because that meant maybe - MAYBE! -  I might actually make it through the night without having to get up and drink a glass of milk!

- ODDMENT! - 

I woke up at 3AM with SEVERE burning in my throat. TUMS? Yeah. Didn't do a thing. The result? Waking up sick with a slightly burnt esophagus. There are a couple of reasons acid reflux is so common during pregnancy. (1) The obvious - Baby Kloss is pushing against my stomach and (2) the increase in prolactin (amidst other lovely hormones) relaxes your esophageal sphincter...

How to survive?...Zantac. It's my new best friend. Oh, and so are pillows. I've got a nice tower of them propped against our headboard so that I can sleep sitting up. Also, I don't eat much in one sitting, and instead have a snack 128931092410293801298309128309821 times per day (and drink a glass of milk in the middle of the night, and in the morning, and throughout the day...). That's a little bit of a challenge when I'm working in a lab and wearing gloves and a lab coat, but now it's obvious that I'm pregnant, so customers tend to be more understanding and sometimes offer up their own preggo horror stories. :D

3rd Minor Addition: DISCOMFORT.

Okay, so "discomfort" is something you feel when your foot rubs inside your hiking boot or you ate too much cake or you're trying to sleep on a 10-hour plane ride. 

- TWEAK! - 

This week: 3.5 hour drive to an elevation of 6100 ft. Not too bad, eh? Um...right leg cramped and went numb, spine felt like it was pulling itself apart. Got to hotel feeling like I was going to throw up from the combination of driving and altitude. Stomach muscles cinched so tight I had a hard time walking, but Baby Kloss didn't seem to notice. He still tried poking holes in my dermal layer. Drank lots of water and took a shower (lower back threw the mother of all tantrums). "Lay down" with my pillow tower to watch Nanny McPhee on TV, then vertigo set in. Needed food but was too sick to eat dinner, so acid started creeping up...couldn't sleep for aforementioned reasons. Woke up and went to work (whilst smiling).

O.o

How to survive? ... Probably don't drive that far when you're 8 months pregnant. 

4th Minor Addition: FATIGUE.

....
....
....




I am tired ALL. THE. TIME. It's not an I-need-a-nap tired, either. It's more like an I-could-sleep-for-the-rest-of-my-life tired. And lots of times when I'm talking, I talk myself right out of breath. (Yes, I know some of you would love to see that.)

How to survive?... Video games. I'm serious! I can sit there and stare mindlessly without talking, and it keeps me awake and entertained for hours. Ben and I have gone through all the LEGO PS3 games (anxiously awaiting LEGO LOTR next month!), Rayman, and are currently blowing up aliens in Ratchet and Clank - so much fun!

Dr. Nefarious ( my favorite): "Is my superiority EVER IN QUESTION?!"

But wonder, merriment, and Dumbledore aside, I DO need to say a few words. And that would be:

- THANK YOU -

To all of you that have been soooo supportive and offered encouragement (a.k.a. LIFE SUPPORT!) to me while I've struggled to keep a good attitude for the past, well, 8 months. Also, because of you, Baby Kloss is successfully spoiled with so much love and thoughtfulness and gifts. Thank you for giving him such a warm welcome to the world, and for giving Ben and I incredible support as we launch into parenthood!

And now, after all of that, I think I shall take a nap... :DDDD

Hello? Brain? Where Are You?

I think I've probably started three different blogposts, but none of them have gone anywhere because I can't seem to get past sentence #1.

I stare and stare (and stareandstareandstare), wondering what in the heck I'd sat down to write about in the first place, and then I'd do the following:




For about an hour.

O_O

(SIDE NOTE: I've been staring at this screen for fifteen minutes already. On the plus side, I've made it past sentence #1!!!! I WILL SUCCEED!!!!)

It's the same with reading, too. And talking? Yeah...

















My vocabulary has been reduced to a grab bag of words commonly carried by a toddler.

*ahem*

Me: "Oh, how cute! Look at those teeny...er...um..."
Ben: *waits patiently*
Me: *points* "On that little boy over there. You know, those little shoes...the ones like you have that you wear outside...you've got two pairs, and..."
Ben: *arches brow* "Crocs?"

Did you know your brain shrinks during pregnancy? I certainly didn't (thanks, Laura!). So, I am patiently waiting for Baby Kloss to hand me my full-sized brain back in November, along with some of my energy. SERIOUSLY. I didn't suffer from Severe Energy Loss in the beginning, but now...? I come home from work and it's like...




Really, though, despite my cognitive inabilities, I wanted to "check in" and say, "HIIIIEEEEEE!" because it's been a while and WE'RE OFFICIALLY IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER!

It's been an interesting 7 months and BK moves A TON. I think he's in there doing this...



...right now, in fact. Anything I set on my belly, he punches. It's especially great when that "anything" happens to be a full cup of coffee. (I ONLY DRINK ONE CUP!)

I get to fly "home" this week (I am SO excited to see my family and friends!), one more trip to Delaware the following week, then no more flying for a while. I can't believe how fast this is all going by, or that there will be a little man living with us in less than three months. Needless to say, we are VERY excited to meet him!

And I must add...my incredible husband, Ben, should be sainted. No, really. He has been waiting on me hand and foot, picking up ALL the slack when I've been couch-bound, and not once complaining about it.

So, yeah. Thanks to all of you for your patience - whether you've voluntarily offered it or not. I'm here...just not really. :DDD

Oh, and feel free to share any crazy pregnant brain stories. They make me feel better about myself.

Happy Monday!!


ps. for any of you that may be wondering how this affects book 3 progress, know that the comprehensive outline for it is done, and i will commence writing it once my brain cooperates. if i push the matter, i'm afraid of mutiny.

Belly Bands and Barf Bags...

DISCLAIMER: The following is merely an account of my personal experiences thus far and is by no means intended to set the expectation of all pregnancies. However, if you prefer to maintain the idea that maternity is as beautiful and glorious as Cherry Blossoms in Spring, I suggest you stop reading. Immediately.




Pregnancy.




Typically, it's met with the following reaction:























It must be an incredible experience, right? I mean, why else would everyone get so excited? I've heard many women say they LOVED being pregnant. I am not one of those women. 


In recent months, it has come to my attention that all mothers suffer amnesia. "What do you mean?" you ask. Well, it's a specific type of amnesia - a little convenience that happens once you see your baby for the first time. All prior nine months of misery have all vanished into a swirl of sugar plums, and all you can seem to remember is how glorious childbirth is. 


But sitting here, smack dab in the middle of that nine months, I feel deceived. 


(ahem)


The 1st Great Deception (aka the mother of all lies): MORNING SICKNESS


MORNING?! Whoever decided to give it that little euphemism should be publicly flogged. Seriously. It's all-day-all-night-even-in-your-dreams sickness. You wonder if you'll ever feel normal again, you stare longingly at all the healthy people smiling and running around while remembering "how it used to be," the first thing you do when you go anywhere is locate the nearest trashcan...


The only thing that makes you feel slightly better is eating, but that leads me to...




The 2nd Great Deception: FOOD AVERSIONS ARE FUNNY


There's nothing funny about it.  For a few months I couldn't even step into our pantry because every time I opened the door, it smelled like we hadn't emptied our trash in a year. I started plugging my nose every time I needed something. And meat? Forget it. Don't even TALK to me about food.


You're supposed to be eating all the time, but you spend more time just trying to find foods you can swallow without gagging. You get all excited when you find something, but then one day you'll be sitting there, minding your own business, and with that next bite your stomach turns and you never want to see another Goldfish for the rest of your life. Ewww, even typing that word turns my stomach....




The 3rd Great Deception: HORMONES MAKE YOU EMOTIONAL


Okay, yeah, they make you emotional. AND angry and irritable and irrational, and you say things to people while thoughts like, "I can't believe I'm saying this right now," run through your head, but it's too late. You've said it and you can't take it back, and besides, you don't really want to take it back. Because you're not just emotional, YOU'RE POSSESSED. It feels kinda like this:























and this...







The 4th Great Deception: PREGNANCY IS BEAUTIFUL


Sure...ON EVERYONE ELSE. But when you look at yourself in the mirror and see this strange roundness at your belly and lower back, and you can't fit into your pants anymore without belly bands, and you can't even workout to help it because you feel too sick and it wouldn't matter anyway because you have no choice but turn cylindrical....it's hard! Your body doesn't look like your body anymore. It doesn't feel like your body anymore. In fact, you start wondering if you watch too much sci-fi because you keep seeing images of an alien ripping through your belly...




The 5th Great Deception: PREGNANCY RHINITIS


Know what it is? About 30% of pregnant women experience it. You start off sneezing. Lots of sneezing. But then your nose gets all stuffy and you start coughing, and you think maybe you just got a cold, but you don't feel like you've got a cold, and it's been a month and now it's getting worse....


It's because your mucus membranes in your nasal passages swell. It gets worse throughout pregnancy.




The 6th Great Deception: IT'LL ALL GO AWAY AFTER THE FIRST TRIMESTER.


Pshaww!
When I still felt crappy at 14 weeks, I started asking around. You know what I found? Many people didn't start feeling better until they neared their third trimester. Some never felt better. It's no guarantee. 18 weeks and 2 days...still sick.


Now, some women really are fortunate enough to feel great the whole time, and I'm sure once I meet baby for the first time I'll forget all of this. It seems to be a mental disease I can't escape. But when you ask me in 5 months and I tell you pregnancy was fine, you'll know the truth :D