Ben, Babies, and Justin Bieber

Just a little something funny to end the week...

Amidst my ramblings and updates, I've been asked, "Just how IS Ben handling everything?"
(Everything = dental school + being D2 Class Prez + taking care of a sick and pregnant wife for almost 9 months + insert malady here)

Well, rather than TELL you that he's nothing shy of amazing (anyone find a halo for him yet?? I'm still looking for one that's big enough...), I thought I'd just show you. Or, more accurately, let him show you himself.

He's been keeping sane in "other" ways....

(ahem)

A parody of Justine Bieber's "Boyfriend," as told by his D2 class.

Watch & ENJOY!!  =)

(He's Dr. KlossyFloss...)

 

Have a great weekend, everyone!!

...I'll be writing... :D

...SURVIVAL...(a.k.a. the 3rd Trimester)

   "Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you."

~ Albus Dumbledore

Probably one of my favorite quotes ever. 

No, it's not earth-shattering or philosophical, nor does it even make sense, but that's PRECISELY why I love it. In fact, I wish I could choose one of those words at random to deploy when necessary. Like when people notice my rounding waistline and ask, "How are you feeling?" I could reply, "NITWIT!"

Ugh.

UghughughughUGH.

Well, some of you know that I haven't EXACTLY had a pleasant pregnancy (<---see earlier post) - granted, it could be worse. Much worse. But SHEESH. 32.2 weeks of nausea, food aversions (to, like, EVERYTHING), and persistent brain malfunction does something to a person's psyche, ya know? 

I had HOPED it would get better - and in some ways it has. But there are a few additional "minor" things I wasn't adequately prepared for. And how should one handle these so-called "minor" things? I'll tell you how I'm doing it: It's called SURVIVAL MODE. 

- BLUBBER! - 

1st Minor Addition: BABY MOVES...A TON.

At first it was cute - really cute. But then he started kicking my ribs and jumping on my bladder (had to pull over TWICE on a 1.5 hour drive to Tucson. NOT cute.) and shoving his back against my side so hard it felt like my skin's about to rip open.

How to survive? ... Acceptance. There not much else one can do about it, because there really isn't much space for the little man in there. So, I've succumbed to my fate of having my insides warped and rearranged, which leads me to...

2nd Minor Addition: ACID REFLUX.

I had a couple of friends warn me about this, but OHMYGOSHIHADNOIDEA!!

There I was, so happy I could stomach a bratwurst and beans AND dessert. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been able to eat a full meal in the past 8 months. In fact, I can empathize...

 ...and eating that full meal made me happy because that meant maybe - MAYBE! -  I might actually make it through the night without having to get up and drink a glass of milk!

- ODDMENT! - 

I woke up at 3AM with SEVERE burning in my throat. TUMS? Yeah. Didn't do a thing. The result? Waking up sick with a slightly burnt esophagus. There are a couple of reasons acid reflux is so common during pregnancy. (1) The obvious - Baby Kloss is pushing against my stomach and (2) the increase in prolactin (amidst other lovely hormones) relaxes your esophageal sphincter...

How to survive?...Zantac. It's my new best friend. Oh, and so are pillows. I've got a nice tower of them propped against our headboard so that I can sleep sitting up. Also, I don't eat much in one sitting, and instead have a snack 128931092410293801298309128309821 times per day (and drink a glass of milk in the middle of the night, and in the morning, and throughout the day...). That's a little bit of a challenge when I'm working in a lab and wearing gloves and a lab coat, but now it's obvious that I'm pregnant, so customers tend to be more understanding and sometimes offer up their own preggo horror stories. :D

3rd Minor Addition: DISCOMFORT.

Okay, so "discomfort" is something you feel when your foot rubs inside your hiking boot or you ate too much cake or you're trying to sleep on a 10-hour plane ride. 

- TWEAK! - 

This week: 3.5 hour drive to an elevation of 6100 ft. Not too bad, eh? Um...right leg cramped and went numb, spine felt like it was pulling itself apart. Got to hotel feeling like I was going to throw up from the combination of driving and altitude. Stomach muscles cinched so tight I had a hard time walking, but Baby Kloss didn't seem to notice. He still tried poking holes in my dermal layer. Drank lots of water and took a shower (lower back threw the mother of all tantrums). "Lay down" with my pillow tower to watch Nanny McPhee on TV, then vertigo set in. Needed food but was too sick to eat dinner, so acid started creeping up...couldn't sleep for aforementioned reasons. Woke up and went to work (whilst smiling).

O.o

How to survive? ... Probably don't drive that far when you're 8 months pregnant. 

4th Minor Addition: FATIGUE.

....
....
....




I am tired ALL. THE. TIME. It's not an I-need-a-nap tired, either. It's more like an I-could-sleep-for-the-rest-of-my-life tired. And lots of times when I'm talking, I talk myself right out of breath. (Yes, I know some of you would love to see that.)

How to survive?... Video games. I'm serious! I can sit there and stare mindlessly without talking, and it keeps me awake and entertained for hours. Ben and I have gone through all the LEGO PS3 games (anxiously awaiting LEGO LOTR next month!), Rayman, and are currently blowing up aliens in Ratchet and Clank - so much fun!

Dr. Nefarious ( my favorite): "Is my superiority EVER IN QUESTION?!"

But wonder, merriment, and Dumbledore aside, I DO need to say a few words. And that would be:

- THANK YOU -

To all of you that have been soooo supportive and offered encouragement (a.k.a. LIFE SUPPORT!) to me while I've struggled to keep a good attitude for the past, well, 8 months. Also, because of you, Baby Kloss is successfully spoiled with so much love and thoughtfulness and gifts. Thank you for giving him such a warm welcome to the world, and for giving Ben and I incredible support as we launch into parenthood!

And now, after all of that, I think I shall take a nap... :DDDD

Hello? Brain? Where Are You?

I think I've probably started three different blogposts, but none of them have gone anywhere because I can't seem to get past sentence #1.

I stare and stare (and stareandstareandstare), wondering what in the heck I'd sat down to write about in the first place, and then I'd do the following:




For about an hour.

O_O

(SIDE NOTE: I've been staring at this screen for fifteen minutes already. On the plus side, I've made it past sentence #1!!!! I WILL SUCCEED!!!!)

It's the same with reading, too. And talking? Yeah...

















My vocabulary has been reduced to a grab bag of words commonly carried by a toddler.

*ahem*

Me: "Oh, how cute! Look at those teeny...er...um..."
Ben: *waits patiently*
Me: *points* "On that little boy over there. You know, those little shoes...the ones like you have that you wear outside...you've got two pairs, and..."
Ben: *arches brow* "Crocs?"

Did you know your brain shrinks during pregnancy? I certainly didn't (thanks, Laura!). So, I am patiently waiting for Baby Kloss to hand me my full-sized brain back in November, along with some of my energy. SERIOUSLY. I didn't suffer from Severe Energy Loss in the beginning, but now...? I come home from work and it's like...




Really, though, despite my cognitive inabilities, I wanted to "check in" and say, "HIIIIEEEEEE!" because it's been a while and WE'RE OFFICIALLY IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER!

It's been an interesting 7 months and BK moves A TON. I think he's in there doing this...



...right now, in fact. Anything I set on my belly, he punches. It's especially great when that "anything" happens to be a full cup of coffee. (I ONLY DRINK ONE CUP!)

I get to fly "home" this week (I am SO excited to see my family and friends!), one more trip to Delaware the following week, then no more flying for a while. I can't believe how fast this is all going by, or that there will be a little man living with us in less than three months. Needless to say, we are VERY excited to meet him!

And I must add...my incredible husband, Ben, should be sainted. No, really. He has been waiting on me hand and foot, picking up ALL the slack when I've been couch-bound, and not once complaining about it.

So, yeah. Thanks to all of you for your patience - whether you've voluntarily offered it or not. I'm here...just not really. :DDD

Oh, and feel free to share any crazy pregnant brain stories. They make me feel better about myself.

Happy Monday!!


ps. for any of you that may be wondering how this affects book 3 progress, know that the comprehensive outline for it is done, and i will commence writing it once my brain cooperates. if i push the matter, i'm afraid of mutiny.

Belly Bands and Barf Bags...

DISCLAIMER: The following is merely an account of my personal experiences thus far and is by no means intended to set the expectation of all pregnancies. However, if you prefer to maintain the idea that maternity is as beautiful and glorious as Cherry Blossoms in Spring, I suggest you stop reading. Immediately.




Pregnancy.




Typically, it's met with the following reaction:























It must be an incredible experience, right? I mean, why else would everyone get so excited? I've heard many women say they LOVED being pregnant. I am not one of those women. 


In recent months, it has come to my attention that all mothers suffer amnesia. "What do you mean?" you ask. Well, it's a specific type of amnesia - a little convenience that happens once you see your baby for the first time. All prior nine months of misery have all vanished into a swirl of sugar plums, and all you can seem to remember is how glorious childbirth is. 


But sitting here, smack dab in the middle of that nine months, I feel deceived. 


(ahem)


The 1st Great Deception (aka the mother of all lies): MORNING SICKNESS


MORNING?! Whoever decided to give it that little euphemism should be publicly flogged. Seriously. It's all-day-all-night-even-in-your-dreams sickness. You wonder if you'll ever feel normal again, you stare longingly at all the healthy people smiling and running around while remembering "how it used to be," the first thing you do when you go anywhere is locate the nearest trashcan...


The only thing that makes you feel slightly better is eating, but that leads me to...




The 2nd Great Deception: FOOD AVERSIONS ARE FUNNY


There's nothing funny about it.  For a few months I couldn't even step into our pantry because every time I opened the door, it smelled like we hadn't emptied our trash in a year. I started plugging my nose every time I needed something. And meat? Forget it. Don't even TALK to me about food.


You're supposed to be eating all the time, but you spend more time just trying to find foods you can swallow without gagging. You get all excited when you find something, but then one day you'll be sitting there, minding your own business, and with that next bite your stomach turns and you never want to see another Goldfish for the rest of your life. Ewww, even typing that word turns my stomach....




The 3rd Great Deception: HORMONES MAKE YOU EMOTIONAL


Okay, yeah, they make you emotional. AND angry and irritable and irrational, and you say things to people while thoughts like, "I can't believe I'm saying this right now," run through your head, but it's too late. You've said it and you can't take it back, and besides, you don't really want to take it back. Because you're not just emotional, YOU'RE POSSESSED. It feels kinda like this:























and this...







The 4th Great Deception: PREGNANCY IS BEAUTIFUL


Sure...ON EVERYONE ELSE. But when you look at yourself in the mirror and see this strange roundness at your belly and lower back, and you can't fit into your pants anymore without belly bands, and you can't even workout to help it because you feel too sick and it wouldn't matter anyway because you have no choice but turn cylindrical....it's hard! Your body doesn't look like your body anymore. It doesn't feel like your body anymore. In fact, you start wondering if you watch too much sci-fi because you keep seeing images of an alien ripping through your belly...




The 5th Great Deception: PREGNANCY RHINITIS


Know what it is? About 30% of pregnant women experience it. You start off sneezing. Lots of sneezing. But then your nose gets all stuffy and you start coughing, and you think maybe you just got a cold, but you don't feel like you've got a cold, and it's been a month and now it's getting worse....


It's because your mucus membranes in your nasal passages swell. It gets worse throughout pregnancy.




The 6th Great Deception: IT'LL ALL GO AWAY AFTER THE FIRST TRIMESTER.


Pshaww!
When I still felt crappy at 14 weeks, I started asking around. You know what I found? Many people didn't start feeling better until they neared their third trimester. Some never felt better. It's no guarantee. 18 weeks and 2 days...still sick.


Now, some women really are fortunate enough to feel great the whole time, and I'm sure once I meet baby for the first time I'll forget all of this. It seems to be a mental disease I can't escape. But when you ask me in 5 months and I tell you pregnancy was fine, you'll know the truth :D

My Non-Near-Death Experience

So, I haven't been on blogger for, uh, MONTHS. I've thought about blogging. Sorta. Okay, so not really. I've been distracted by going through beta feedback on my sequel, traveling all over for work, and...other things.

But! I've been inspired to blog about my most recent trip for work. Why? Because I thought I was going to die.

I'm serious.

...ahem...

I had been told that I'd be going to an indian reservation somewhere on the border of Arizona and New Mexico.

My first thought? "Ooooooo! Turquoise!"

(don't laugh.)

About a week before I go on this "exciting turquoise trip," I mentioned to a coworker where I was headed. This coworker's jaw drops as her eyes double in size, as she proceeds to say in a low, ominous whisper, "Has anyone warned you about it, yet?"

She then proceeds with the following list of happy things:

(1) Get off the reservation before the sun goes down.
(2) If you see a baby carrier in the middle of the road, drive around it.
(3) Don't stop - not for ANY reason! - until you get to your intended destination.
(4) If the road suddenly turns to dirt, turn around immediately.
(5) You probably won't get cell reception, either, if you need help.

This was my response...

O_O


...and I forgot all about turquoise. Instead, I started thinking about zombies...

Apparently, gangs are prevalent on reservations. I did not know this. I also didn't realize that major freeways didn't access these reservations. You have to turn down roads called Indian Routes. They wind all over who knows where, and many of them are dirt roads - or they turn into them.

You bet I Google Earthed my route.

The day arrived, I took my GPS - I even printed a map just in case - and I embarked on my 5.5 hour drive to my doom.

And....

It was totally and utterly uneventful. *wipes brow*

HOWEVER! I got some photos that I wanted to share. because I think the scenery was wild and beautiful. Of course, the pictures are from the car because I refused to stop and get out to take them :D I apologize in advance for the lackluster quality.



On my way there. Highway 40 runs from Flagstaff to Albuquerque.
THREE HOURS OF THIS. *dies*

HOPE. Scenery change. THREE HOURS of flatlands,
and I'm about to turn on my Indian Route. I'm also a little
scared at this point, but distracted by the colorful rock.



My PAVED Indian Route. *preens*

It was a very pretty drive, too! Sorry about the bug

splatter on my windshield...You already know

why I wouldn't stop...



My biggest adventure: avoiding livestock. There were NO fences along
the 30ish mile RTE. I drove through a pack of about 6 horses, happily eating grass
on both sides of the rode. And cows, and sheep...



Navajo country, and the reason for this blog.
Rock formations like this were everywhere! So beautiful.



And now I'm back "safely" in my hotel room, reveling in life and enjoying the scenery. :D Since I'm feeling so safe, I may even try and find some turquoise tomorrow...

Happy Tuesday!

Inspiration and Talking Frogs...

KERMIT.

I. Love. This. Billboard.

I don't know why, really. Maybe it's because I grew up on Big Bird and Miss Piggy and Vampires that "count." Maybe it's because I like talking frogs. Whatever the reason, I saw this, and could not stop laughing.

But then, of course, like any good ad will do, it made me think...

People may not always understand your dreams. They may not agree with them or like them. They might sneer and snicker and smirk. They might stand back and ogle you like you've grown a third arm and suddenly started speaking parseltongue...

And that's okay. They're YOUR dreams, not theirs.

Like Mark Twain said, "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

I love things that inspire us to be better and challenge us to conquer the world, so after seeing this brilliant billboard, I decided to look into its sponsor: The Foundation for a Better Life.

Their values?

"The Foundation for a Better Life recognizes that everyone views the world through a unique lens and our objective is to provide a wide spectrum of values that are universal, encouraging and inspiring." 

"How wonderful!" says I, and then I started clicking around.

They've got more slogans like Kermit's, and loads of quotes (my favorite!...if you couldn't tell...), like this one:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

(I know, I know, another Mark Twain quote...)

You can find the website HERE.

Go have a look around, and be inspired to do something great!


What are your dreams?...And what are you doing to live them?


More eyewitness accounts...

***If you like YA Fantasy, check out my book, GAIA'S SECRET. The sequel is coming soon!

A Tribute to Jim Butcher...Or, More Accurately, His Tribute To Himself...

Every so often, I'll search the world wide web for information on authors I love. You know, it's kinda like that quote by J. D. Salinger in the Catcher in the Rye (one of my favorite books, btw) :

"What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though."

Well, for me, one of those authors is Jim Butcher, who wrote The Dresden Files and one of my favorite fantasy series, Codex Alera. I even have an autographed map of Alera (thanks, John!!).

His books are so much fun - I LOVE his sense of humor - and he writes some of the best battle scenes I've ever read. Not that I'm an authority on the subject...

Which brings me back to the topic of "the author bio." Yeah, yeah...I know what you're thinking. "He went to X school and studied INSERT-ENGLISHY-SUBJECT and currently lives in Z, Washington."

Pshaw! If only....

This is JIM BUTCHER.

His author bio is as entertaining as his novels!

Ahem! *clears throat*

"Jim Butcher read his first fantasy novel when he was seven years old--
the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. By the time he turned eight,
he'd added the rest of the Narnia books, the Prydain Chronicles, every
book about Star Wars he could find, a great many Star Trek novels and
the Lord of the Rings to his count.

So he was pretty much doomed from the start.

Love of fantasy, his personal gateway drug, drew him toward a fairly
eclectic spread of interests: horseback riding (including trick riding,
stunt riding, drill riding, and competitive stunt racing), archery,
martial arts, costuming, music and theater. He played a lot of role-
playing games, a lot of fantasy-based tactical computer games, and
eventually got into live-action roleplay where players beat each other
up with boffer weapons.

So, really, he can fly his nerd flag with pretty much anyone, and
frequently does.

He took up writing to be able to produce fantasy novels with swords and
horses in them, and determinedly wrote terrible fantasy books until,
just to prove a point to his writing teacher, he decided to take every
piece of her advice; fill out outlines and worksheets, and design
stories and characters just the way she'd been telling him to do for
about three years. He was certain that once she saw what hideous art it
produced, she would be proven wrong and repent the error of her ways.
The result was the Dresden Files, which sure showed *her*.

She has not yet admitted her mistake and recanted her philosophy on
writing.  ( <-- I love this!)

Jim has performed in dramas, musicals, and vocal groups in front of
live audiences of thousands and on TV. He has performed exhibition
riding in multiple arenas, and fallen from running horses a truly
ridiculous number of times. He was once cursed by an Amazon witch
doctor in rural Brazil, has apparently begun writing about himself in
the third person, and is hardly ever sick at sea.

He also writes books occasionally.

Jim stands accused of writing the Dresden Files and the Codex Alera.

He's plead insanity, but the jury is still out on that one. He lives in

Missouri with his wife, romantic suspense and paranormal romance writer

Shannon K. Butcher (who is really pretty and way out of his league), <--I love this, too!

his son, and a ferocious guard dog."

Awesome. :)

See why he writes great battle scenes??  :)

FLY THAT NERD FLAG, JIM!! (while you're writing more books, please :D  )

***If you like YA Fantasy, check out my book, GAIA'S SECRET. The sequel is coming soon!

When Focus bludgeons you in the head...repeatedly...

They did this to us for work training. Well, not the bludgeoning bit, but they made us take the following "Awareness Test."

Here, try it yourself. See how YOU do...

Did you watch it??

And??

Well...I FAILED IT. And it made me think...

Here I am, Miss Try-to-Observe-Everything-and-It's-Shadow (um, HELLO!? I'm a WRITER) and OH MY GOSH! *hangs head*

Well, I very promptly came to this conclusion: Focus Kills.

I mean, not all focus is bad. Focus is how we reach our goals, accomplish things, beat Final Fantasy XIII....er, uh....

Without focus, our heroes wouldn't be heroes, dragons wouldn't be trained (TOOTHLESS!!), Harry wouldn't have destroyed all the horcruxes, and Sauron would be ruling the world.

But what about too much focus?

Apparently, it's something we are ALL prone to - including my MC, Daria Jones, and it almost got her killed - because not a single person in our class of 30 saw that moonwalking bear (so don't feel bad). It reminded me that, no matter I'm reaching for, appreciate the here and now and the people around me.

We love stories because we love the journey. We love to watch characters struggle and face obstacles and succeed when the entire universe and all its stars are against them. We don't go straight to the end to make sure Luke Skywalker blew up the Death Star.

As the main character in your own story, it can be difficult enjoying the journey, especially when you're results driven (cough, cough). But if you don't, you'll miss all the important parts, the people and blessings along the way, and you may just end up bludgeoned in the head by a moonwalking bear. :D

What about you? Ever get so caught up in something you got sideswiped by something else entirely? Or are you pretty good at keeping perspective?

The Seven Deadly...

...Key Commands.


Ha! Thought I was gonna say something like "Sins," didn't you? (or "Zins" if you're a wine-oh)


Well, Ben sent this to me, and I thought it was hilarious. It was also very appropriate because I've been spending a ton of time pinning down my characters' flaws for book 2. Why couldn't it just be this straight forward?

My one is "wrath." What's yours? :D

On another, happier note, today is Pay It Forward Friday! (Thanks Matt and Alex for hosting) The idea is to introduce all of us to everyone else, and I'm to link to three blogs you guys should check out. SO HARD PICKING ONLY THREE! 


1. Peggy Eddleman - She's got some of the most entertaining posts about writing, and has such a unique perspective! Plus, she likes to be mean and throw in pictures of cookies all the time which really challenges my morning diet...


2. Ashley Nixon - I just love her to pieces! She's got such an awesome attitude about, well, everything and writes tons of good posts about writing and finding inspiration for stories (something we all need at times). Go say hello!


3. Julie Tuovi - Another awesome and energetic blogger I wish I could keep in my pocket. She's got a lot of great insight on writing and is a great resource for blogfests and contests.


4. Cherie - Now, I'm a new-ish follower of her, but she's fabulous! Very encouraging and supportive, and writes a tone about writing and is also a great resource for blogfests and contests.


(yes, i know i listed four. it's not in my nature to follow directions...at least not very well...)


Remember, it's never too late to join the blogfest...and please, go pay a visit to the bloggers above.


Happy Friday!

CONFESSIONS!!...brace yourselves...

Dearest  Bleaders,

*bleaders = blog + readers

I've got some news and a confession.

Let's start with the confession (I mean, let's face it, you were probably more interested in THAT anyway...). I've been a horrid - HORRID! -  commenter as of late. There have been so many events in my life (some I can't say yet, others I'll share shortly) that have prevented me from spending much, if any, time on Blogger. *extends hand for vicious slapping* I want to thank you for taking the time to read and comment regardless!

Ben started Dental School (200 pages of notes on Day 1???...er, um, I mean, YAY!), and I've been very busy doing final edits on my ms (thanks, Laura!) while writing book two. Also, on Friday I leave for Europe!! Off to Sweden, Denmark, and Italy for two weeks with my uncles and sis. First time I've traveled internationally without Ben. Kinda freaks me out, but not enough to stay home. :) If I don't blog while there, I'll definitely share highlights/photos when I get back. 

And...Gaia's Secret has a cover! (Thanks, Ben!) This has truly been one of THE coolest pieces of the literary puzzle - "seeing" an actual image for my story. I wouldn't be here without you all, and I can't wait to share it once I come back from across the big pond.

In the meantime, Happy Labor Day, and I'll leave you with this...

Some students wrote to Roald Dahl, asking him questions about his short story collection, "The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More." Here's his response:

See, writing isn't a hobby. It's a lifestyle.  :)

Eat your Humble Pie and Shut Up.

I've been thinking about this word a lot lately because, well, it's what my main character deals with. Over and over again. (And for those of you that know Daria Jones, my little obstinate heroine, you might see what inspired Character Flaw #1: Apparent lack of humility.)

Here. I'll give you an example. I like examples.

Every year for about five years, the hubby and I would hike Half Dome. If you know what Half Dome is, you might think I'm insane. If you don't, know that it's a hike in Yosemite National Park, a little over 8 miles one way with the last 400 yards being up the side of a steep granite wall with only cables for support, and an overall 4500' elevation gain. (you might think I'm insane now, too.)

No really, it's fun. I promise.

As I was saying, every year the hubby and I would go, and every year we would "take" different people. And one of those years we brought someone - let's call our anonymous hiker Jill. Jill is one of those insufferable know-it-alls. A one-upper. You had a great weekend? Well, hers was better. But I digress...

Weeks before the hike, when THE one and only Experienced Hiker (aka me) was planning, Jill already knew everything, had thought of everything, and had so much wisdom to impart I was about ready to tell her we weren't going. I don't know, maybe the campground flooded or a group of bears recently attacked or a hurricane was coming (?). ANYTHING. (Know anyone like that? Yeah. Not fun.)

But rather than fabricate some excuse, I do something else. (Because I'm so smart. I'm experienced.) I decide to invite a secret weapon: Humility. Besides, I'm the one that had hiked it before. Humility would back me up.

Day of hike. Wake up at 5am and get moving (ignoring early-morning advice from Jill while talking myself out of pushing Jill over a waterfall). "Jill will see how tough the hike is." I smile to myself. "And then Humility will shut her up. She'll see."

Three miles in and Jill still won't stop talking about how smart she is. I'm wishing Humility would show up already and throw Jill down, but Humility is no where to be found. And I'm not feeling so good. Probably because I'm so annoyed.

And then this happens (ahem):

Jill: "You're not looking so good."
Me: *rolls eyes inwardly* *smiles* "I'm fine." *looks around for Humility to do said deed*
Jill: "No, you're pretty pale. Did you need to rest? I don't mind waiting for you."
Me: *fights urge to push Jill in river* "Really, I'm fine."

Then I finally see Humility on the trail, all decked out in camo. FINALLY! But what does Humility do?

Well.

It goes ninja.

It kicks out my legs and spits in my face (also known as passing out beside a waterfall). My hearing fades, my vision turns black and...

*Enter hot knight in shining REI gear, aka Ben*

When I finally came to, Jill frowns. "I told you that you shouldn't eat cookies for breakfast." By then I was too embarrassed to be angry.

Humility is shifty. (It's also closely related to Blow to the Pride.) While you're waiting for Humility to assassinate someone else, it'll most likely go ninja on YOU!

Maybe instead of eating cookies in the morning, next time I'll have a slice of humble pie. And shut up. :)

Have any similar experiences where Humility went ninja on you? And for you authors, which life experiences inspired your characters?


**FYI: NONE of the below photos are from The Year of Jill. This is an entirely different trip, with VERY fun people :)**

View from "almost" top of cables

Half Dome

Those aren't ants. Those are people. (Tall guy is Ben. He's talking to our friend, Nathanael)

Final ascent...Sierras in background

Me (i'm in front) and Misty on the cables of death - and we're so happy!

The spray by Vernal Falls (I'm in the green poncho)

*If you like YA Fantasy, check out my book, GAIA'S SECRET. The sequel is coming soon!

Heat, Editing, and Disney Princes...

Well, everyone, in the land of sand and sun, Ben and I have been adjusting to a few things, like (1) heat and (2) more heat. Really, it isn't so bad. When you go throughout your day expecting your surroundings to resemble a large-scale oven, it's amazing what you can withstand. I'm finding it's all about attitude. And lots of drinking water.

Now that the dust has settled, I've been able to return to my story to finish this last round of edits. After two years, multiple re-writes, beta reads, and lots of tears, I feel that it's finally time to say "Finito!" Still, it's difficult. As writers (&, well, people in general), we are always growing and changing and learning, and because of that, we can always find something to tweak just a little bit more. I recently listened to an interview with James Dashner that encouraged me. Even after agent, editor, and publisher feedback, and seeing his book on the shelves, he still had things he wanted to tweak and fix.

I want to hear from some of you with regards to editing - when do you know it's time to say "Finito!" ?


And lastly, some advice from Disney on how to make your literary heart-throb irresistible:

***If you like YA Fantasy, check out my book, GAIA'S SECRET. The sequel is coming soon!

Blogging...

I'm going to try to not be offended by this...

Movies in Reverse

Some humor for the day. Ben is to thank for this topic. And these are just a few. Read them...they're hilarious!

Jaws backwards is the story of a giant shark that throws up so many people they have to open up a new beach.

King Kong backwards is the story of a giant gorilla that jumps to the top of the Empire State Building to rescue a woman from an evil gang of planes. He climbs down with her and goes to a theater, where he meets Carl Denham, who takes him back to his tropical home on a hidden island. There, the gorilla resumes his job as Dinosaur Doctor, fixing such ailments as broken necks and lacerated tongues.

The Birds backwards is the story of a quiet seaside village inhabited almost entirely by birds. Humans begin to violently attack the birds for no apparent reason. Determined to drive away the birds, the humans cover themselves in blood and pretend to be injured (we see later that they weren’t really hurt). The birds are so scared they quickly fly away after each encounter. In the end, the birds are forced to abandon their homes. The humans appear to have no regrets about what they’ve done.

Psycho backwards is the story of a young man who magically brings his dead mother back to life. Realizing he could use this power to help others, he resuscitates several people who had tragically died at his hotel and nearby house. One woman is so happy to be brought back to life, she secretly gives thousands of dollars to her worried boss. Her boyfriend is equally happy to see her once again, so they head off to the nearest hotel.

Titanic backwards is the story of an enormous iron ship that surges up from the vast depths of the ocean in order to save a large number of people who are inexplicably, and somewhat foolishly, floundering in the water near an iceberg. It then takes them back to Southampton.

The Lord of the Rings backwards is the story of a mentally challenged Hobbit who overcomes his disability by retrieving his finger — and a golden ring — from the depths of a sinister volcano. As an act of gratitude, he travels the known lands in order to save people’s lives by pulling swords out of their bodies. The Hobbits then spend the rest of their days in the peaceful idylls of the countryside.

Cinderella backwards is about a woman who learns her place.

Shrek backwards is about an insane ogre who kidnaps a man's wife, puts her in a tower, alienates his friends, and winds up living alone in a swamp.

The Matrix backwards is the story of a young man who, after a long day of beating people up in videogames, takes a sleeping pill from a black guy in sunglasses so he can wake up in time for his boring office job in the morning.

Around the World in 80 Days backwards is the story of a man who is given a large sum of money and proceeds to go around the world. When he returns to London, he proudly states it can be done and would like to wager money on the expedition.

Night of the Living Dead backwards is the story of a bunch of drunks who blunder around an old house in the countryside. They gradually sober up as morning approaches, kindly replace people’s misplaced internal organs, and carefully sew up the wounds with their mouths.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest backwards is the story of a silent Indian Chief who breaks into an asylum and revives his friend with a magic pillow. After a successful lobotomy reversal, they have a huge party to celebrate. The Indian feels his work is done and doesn’t say anything else. All the patients love the Indian’s friend, even though he slowly destroys their sense of freedom and imagination with increasingly dull stunts. Eventually, he pretends to be cured so he can serve his time in a regular jail.

Sleeping Beauty backwards is the story of a beautiful Princess, who is bored with her opulent lifestyle and husband. She asks her fairy godmothers to send her to sleep for a hundred years in the hope that something better will turn up. To her consternation, she is woken early with an upset stomach by a wicked queen who quickly heals the Princess by throwing a spinning wheel at her. The Princess sings a song about losing Princes and gets close to nature by working on a farm.

The Third Man backwards is the story of American writer Holly Martins who rescues his friend Harry Lime from poverty in the sewers of Vienna. Harry, his faith in life restored, begins to heal children who suffered brain-damage from diluted morphine, and goes around giving money to people. Harry and Holly begin to drift apart, and eventually, Harry is killed in a car accident. Holly returns to America surprisingly optimistic.

The Shawshank Redemption backwards is the story of Andy Dufrayne, who arranges for his old friend Red to be sent to prison, after tiring of his company. Wracked with guilt, he crawls through a sewer in order to get into the prison to see his friend again. Concealing his entrance behind a picture of Rita Hayworth, Andy begins a long campaign of disposing of all of the warden’s money by giving it to various people. He then destroys the library in a mad rage and causes a lot of guards to fail to complete their tax returns. Once again wracked with guilt, Andy forces a gang of men to beat him as he gradually loses all his friends. Eventually, the warden has had enough and throws Andy out of the prison, where he acquires a wife when she is resurrected by a friendly burglar. He then takes up banking and lives happily ever after.

Hamlet backwards is the story of a man who restores his own faith in humanity by administering an antidote to his poisoned friends and family, jumping out of a grave, curing his girlfriend of severe mental illness, and furthering his own grasp on sanity in time for his long-lost father to return in triumph as King.

Leaving Las Vegas backwards is the story of a terminally-ill man who is healed, thanks to the curative powers of alcohol.

Pride and Prejudice backwards is the story of Elizabeth Bennett who becomes increasingly disillusioned with her husband Fitzwilliam Darcy. The two divorce. The shame of such an action in 18th century England motivates her younger sister Lydia to divorce her husband but continue to live in sin with him in a bedsit in Brighton. Darcy encourages their actions but Lydia tires of the arrangement and soon returns home. Elizabeth and Darcy attempt to remain friends, but their relationship is strained when she suffers an unexpected bout of amnesia. The villagers of Meryton begin to weary of the family’s antics and their acquaintanceship dissolves. The film ends as local recently-divorced bachelor Mr. Bingley moves away from Netherfield while a moving voiceover proclaims the ineffectiveness of love and the selfless attitudes of women in the game of marriage.

Frankenstein backwards is the story of kindly villagers who use magic sticks to save a burning windmill and its two occupants. The villagers then escort the two men back to their sprawling castle. The larger of the two saves a drowning child, while the smaller of the two turns out to be a maniac who secretly kills the other man through electrocution.

The Fast and the Furious backwards is the story of a man who is given a huge going-away party just before he begins a quest to drive as fast as possible while shifted into Reverse. His quest is complicated by others who believe they would better at driving backwards. Incredibly, all the contestants tie for first place in every race they enter. Even more remarkable, they simultaneously run out of gas just as they reach the finish line. Seeing the futility of this, they return to their former lives.

What does your story look like backwards?? ;D

***If you like YA Fantasy, check out my book, GAIA'S SECRET. The sequel is coming soon!

*This list was compiled from various internet sites and http://www.classicfilmpreview.com/backwards-movies/*