...SURVIVAL...(a.k.a. the 3rd Trimester)

   "Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you."

~ Albus Dumbledore

Probably one of my favorite quotes ever. 

No, it's not earth-shattering or philosophical, nor does it even make sense, but that's PRECISELY why I love it. In fact, I wish I could choose one of those words at random to deploy when necessary. Like when people notice my rounding waistline and ask, "How are you feeling?" I could reply, "NITWIT!"

Ugh.

UghughughughUGH.

Well, some of you know that I haven't EXACTLY had a pleasant pregnancy (<---see earlier post) - granted, it could be worse. Much worse. But SHEESH. 32.2 weeks of nausea, food aversions (to, like, EVERYTHING), and persistent brain malfunction does something to a person's psyche, ya know? 

I had HOPED it would get better - and in some ways it has. But there are a few additional "minor" things I wasn't adequately prepared for. And how should one handle these so-called "minor" things? I'll tell you how I'm doing it: It's called SURVIVAL MODE. 

- BLUBBER! - 

1st Minor Addition: BABY MOVES...A TON.

At first it was cute - really cute. But then he started kicking my ribs and jumping on my bladder (had to pull over TWICE on a 1.5 hour drive to Tucson. NOT cute.) and shoving his back against my side so hard it felt like my skin's about to rip open.

How to survive? ... Acceptance. There not much else one can do about it, because there really isn't much space for the little man in there. So, I've succumbed to my fate of having my insides warped and rearranged, which leads me to...

2nd Minor Addition: ACID REFLUX.

I had a couple of friends warn me about this, but OHMYGOSHIHADNOIDEA!!

There I was, so happy I could stomach a bratwurst and beans AND dessert. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been able to eat a full meal in the past 8 months. In fact, I can empathize...

 ...and eating that full meal made me happy because that meant maybe - MAYBE! -  I might actually make it through the night without having to get up and drink a glass of milk!

- ODDMENT! - 

I woke up at 3AM with SEVERE burning in my throat. TUMS? Yeah. Didn't do a thing. The result? Waking up sick with a slightly burnt esophagus. There are a couple of reasons acid reflux is so common during pregnancy. (1) The obvious - Baby Kloss is pushing against my stomach and (2) the increase in prolactin (amidst other lovely hormones) relaxes your esophageal sphincter...

How to survive?...Zantac. It's my new best friend. Oh, and so are pillows. I've got a nice tower of them propped against our headboard so that I can sleep sitting up. Also, I don't eat much in one sitting, and instead have a snack 128931092410293801298309128309821 times per day (and drink a glass of milk in the middle of the night, and in the morning, and throughout the day...). That's a little bit of a challenge when I'm working in a lab and wearing gloves and a lab coat, but now it's obvious that I'm pregnant, so customers tend to be more understanding and sometimes offer up their own preggo horror stories. :D

3rd Minor Addition: DISCOMFORT.

Okay, so "discomfort" is something you feel when your foot rubs inside your hiking boot or you ate too much cake or you're trying to sleep on a 10-hour plane ride. 

- TWEAK! - 

This week: 3.5 hour drive to an elevation of 6100 ft. Not too bad, eh? Um...right leg cramped and went numb, spine felt like it was pulling itself apart. Got to hotel feeling like I was going to throw up from the combination of driving and altitude. Stomach muscles cinched so tight I had a hard time walking, but Baby Kloss didn't seem to notice. He still tried poking holes in my dermal layer. Drank lots of water and took a shower (lower back threw the mother of all tantrums). "Lay down" with my pillow tower to watch Nanny McPhee on TV, then vertigo set in. Needed food but was too sick to eat dinner, so acid started creeping up...couldn't sleep for aforementioned reasons. Woke up and went to work (whilst smiling).

O.o

How to survive? ... Probably don't drive that far when you're 8 months pregnant. 

4th Minor Addition: FATIGUE.

....
....
....




I am tired ALL. THE. TIME. It's not an I-need-a-nap tired, either. It's more like an I-could-sleep-for-the-rest-of-my-life tired. And lots of times when I'm talking, I talk myself right out of breath. (Yes, I know some of you would love to see that.)

How to survive?... Video games. I'm serious! I can sit there and stare mindlessly without talking, and it keeps me awake and entertained for hours. Ben and I have gone through all the LEGO PS3 games (anxiously awaiting LEGO LOTR next month!), Rayman, and are currently blowing up aliens in Ratchet and Clank - so much fun!

Dr. Nefarious ( my favorite): "Is my superiority EVER IN QUESTION?!"

But wonder, merriment, and Dumbledore aside, I DO need to say a few words. And that would be:

- THANK YOU -

To all of you that have been soooo supportive and offered encouragement (a.k.a. LIFE SUPPORT!) to me while I've struggled to keep a good attitude for the past, well, 8 months. Also, because of you, Baby Kloss is successfully spoiled with so much love and thoughtfulness and gifts. Thank you for giving him such a warm welcome to the world, and for giving Ben and I incredible support as we launch into parenthood!

And now, after all of that, I think I shall take a nap... :DDDD

Hello? Brain? Where Are You?

I think I've probably started three different blogposts, but none of them have gone anywhere because I can't seem to get past sentence #1.

I stare and stare (and stareandstareandstare), wondering what in the heck I'd sat down to write about in the first place, and then I'd do the following:




For about an hour.

O_O

(SIDE NOTE: I've been staring at this screen for fifteen minutes already. On the plus side, I've made it past sentence #1!!!! I WILL SUCCEED!!!!)

It's the same with reading, too. And talking? Yeah...

















My vocabulary has been reduced to a grab bag of words commonly carried by a toddler.

*ahem*

Me: "Oh, how cute! Look at those teeny...er...um..."
Ben: *waits patiently*
Me: *points* "On that little boy over there. You know, those little shoes...the ones like you have that you wear outside...you've got two pairs, and..."
Ben: *arches brow* "Crocs?"

Did you know your brain shrinks during pregnancy? I certainly didn't (thanks, Laura!). So, I am patiently waiting for Baby Kloss to hand me my full-sized brain back in November, along with some of my energy. SERIOUSLY. I didn't suffer from Severe Energy Loss in the beginning, but now...? I come home from work and it's like...




Really, though, despite my cognitive inabilities, I wanted to "check in" and say, "HIIIIEEEEEE!" because it's been a while and WE'RE OFFICIALLY IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER!

It's been an interesting 7 months and BK moves A TON. I think he's in there doing this...



...right now, in fact. Anything I set on my belly, he punches. It's especially great when that "anything" happens to be a full cup of coffee. (I ONLY DRINK ONE CUP!)

I get to fly "home" this week (I am SO excited to see my family and friends!), one more trip to Delaware the following week, then no more flying for a while. I can't believe how fast this is all going by, or that there will be a little man living with us in less than three months. Needless to say, we are VERY excited to meet him!

And I must add...my incredible husband, Ben, should be sainted. No, really. He has been waiting on me hand and foot, picking up ALL the slack when I've been couch-bound, and not once complaining about it.

So, yeah. Thanks to all of you for your patience - whether you've voluntarily offered it or not. I'm here...just not really. :DDD

Oh, and feel free to share any crazy pregnant brain stories. They make me feel better about myself.

Happy Monday!!


ps. for any of you that may be wondering how this affects book 3 progress, know that the comprehensive outline for it is done, and i will commence writing it once my brain cooperates. if i push the matter, i'm afraid of mutiny.

My Sequel is AVAILABLE!...

...and one month ahead of schedule!

Thanks to so many of my readers for the enthusiasm and support and PERPETUAL NAGGING *winks* I have finished book two, THE KEEPER'S FLAME, and it is available for purchase!

You can find it available at the following links:

Amazon (Paperback & Kindle)

Barnes and Noble

Smashwords

Winter has fallen upon Valdon.

It's been five months since Daria Regius arrived at the castle, and her grandfather, the king, has stripped her of all freedoms, building even more barriers around her lonely life.

But darkness moves. Rumors abound about a dark rider, sending ancient and unspeakable horrors to the territories, and the citizens of Gaia are filled with fear. And fear blurs the lines of loyalty and trust, honor and allegiance, and cultivates dissonance throughout the kingdom. The people are anxious for this year's games, because this year, according to prophecy, selecting a champion means a true king can be chosen, and only once that true king is chosen can the people have any hopes of defeating the evil amassing around them.

Propelled by fear for those she loves, unexpected friendships, and harrowing betrayal, Daria must gain the courage to escape the barriers set around her life and confront the evil that threatens to destroy Gaia—before it finds her and takes her life first. 

Hope you enjoy, and have a FABULOUS weekend!

Barbara

Belly Bands and Barf Bags...

DISCLAIMER: The following is merely an account of my personal experiences thus far and is by no means intended to set the expectation of all pregnancies. However, if you prefer to maintain the idea that maternity is as beautiful and glorious as Cherry Blossoms in Spring, I suggest you stop reading. Immediately.




Pregnancy.




Typically, it's met with the following reaction:























It must be an incredible experience, right? I mean, why else would everyone get so excited? I've heard many women say they LOVED being pregnant. I am not one of those women. 


In recent months, it has come to my attention that all mothers suffer amnesia. "What do you mean?" you ask. Well, it's a specific type of amnesia - a little convenience that happens once you see your baby for the first time. All prior nine months of misery have all vanished into a swirl of sugar plums, and all you can seem to remember is how glorious childbirth is. 


But sitting here, smack dab in the middle of that nine months, I feel deceived. 


(ahem)


The 1st Great Deception (aka the mother of all lies): MORNING SICKNESS


MORNING?! Whoever decided to give it that little euphemism should be publicly flogged. Seriously. It's all-day-all-night-even-in-your-dreams sickness. You wonder if you'll ever feel normal again, you stare longingly at all the healthy people smiling and running around while remembering "how it used to be," the first thing you do when you go anywhere is locate the nearest trashcan...


The only thing that makes you feel slightly better is eating, but that leads me to...




The 2nd Great Deception: FOOD AVERSIONS ARE FUNNY


There's nothing funny about it.  For a few months I couldn't even step into our pantry because every time I opened the door, it smelled like we hadn't emptied our trash in a year. I started plugging my nose every time I needed something. And meat? Forget it. Don't even TALK to me about food.


You're supposed to be eating all the time, but you spend more time just trying to find foods you can swallow without gagging. You get all excited when you find something, but then one day you'll be sitting there, minding your own business, and with that next bite your stomach turns and you never want to see another Goldfish for the rest of your life. Ewww, even typing that word turns my stomach....




The 3rd Great Deception: HORMONES MAKE YOU EMOTIONAL


Okay, yeah, they make you emotional. AND angry and irritable and irrational, and you say things to people while thoughts like, "I can't believe I'm saying this right now," run through your head, but it's too late. You've said it and you can't take it back, and besides, you don't really want to take it back. Because you're not just emotional, YOU'RE POSSESSED. It feels kinda like this:























and this...







The 4th Great Deception: PREGNANCY IS BEAUTIFUL


Sure...ON EVERYONE ELSE. But when you look at yourself in the mirror and see this strange roundness at your belly and lower back, and you can't fit into your pants anymore without belly bands, and you can't even workout to help it because you feel too sick and it wouldn't matter anyway because you have no choice but turn cylindrical....it's hard! Your body doesn't look like your body anymore. It doesn't feel like your body anymore. In fact, you start wondering if you watch too much sci-fi because you keep seeing images of an alien ripping through your belly...




The 5th Great Deception: PREGNANCY RHINITIS


Know what it is? About 30% of pregnant women experience it. You start off sneezing. Lots of sneezing. But then your nose gets all stuffy and you start coughing, and you think maybe you just got a cold, but you don't feel like you've got a cold, and it's been a month and now it's getting worse....


It's because your mucus membranes in your nasal passages swell. It gets worse throughout pregnancy.




The 6th Great Deception: IT'LL ALL GO AWAY AFTER THE FIRST TRIMESTER.


Pshaww!
When I still felt crappy at 14 weeks, I started asking around. You know what I found? Many people didn't start feeling better until they neared their third trimester. Some never felt better. It's no guarantee. 18 weeks and 2 days...still sick.


Now, some women really are fortunate enough to feel great the whole time, and I'm sure once I meet baby for the first time I'll forget all of this. It seems to be a mental disease I can't escape. But when you ask me in 5 months and I tell you pregnancy was fine, you'll know the truth :D

My Sequel has a Cover!!!!

EEEEEP!

One of the most exciting parts for me about writing is when my story gets a face. You spend months and months equipped with an imagination and a (limited) vocabulary, but the cover...it brings another dimension of life that words simply can't reach. (Plus, it's easier to mentally categorize in snapshots rather than 400+ pages... O.o)

And I'm SO excited to share the face of my sequel to GAIA'S SECRET, also known as THE KEEPER'S FLAME, which will be released this August!

In honor of book 2, I'm doing a book giveaway of GAIA'S SECRET on Goodreads. The giveaway is from May 24 - June 23, so you can sign up for it now. The link is HERE.

Thank you ALL for your support and enthusiasm and pestering along the way!! *HUGS* *SQUEEZES*

My Non-Near-Death Experience

So, I haven't been on blogger for, uh, MONTHS. I've thought about blogging. Sorta. Okay, so not really. I've been distracted by going through beta feedback on my sequel, traveling all over for work, and...other things.

But! I've been inspired to blog about my most recent trip for work. Why? Because I thought I was going to die.

I'm serious.

...ahem...

I had been told that I'd be going to an indian reservation somewhere on the border of Arizona and New Mexico.

My first thought? "Ooooooo! Turquoise!"

(don't laugh.)

About a week before I go on this "exciting turquoise trip," I mentioned to a coworker where I was headed. This coworker's jaw drops as her eyes double in size, as she proceeds to say in a low, ominous whisper, "Has anyone warned you about it, yet?"

She then proceeds with the following list of happy things:

(1) Get off the reservation before the sun goes down.
(2) If you see a baby carrier in the middle of the road, drive around it.
(3) Don't stop - not for ANY reason! - until you get to your intended destination.
(4) If the road suddenly turns to dirt, turn around immediately.
(5) You probably won't get cell reception, either, if you need help.

This was my response...

O_O


...and I forgot all about turquoise. Instead, I started thinking about zombies...

Apparently, gangs are prevalent on reservations. I did not know this. I also didn't realize that major freeways didn't access these reservations. You have to turn down roads called Indian Routes. They wind all over who knows where, and many of them are dirt roads - or they turn into them.

You bet I Google Earthed my route.

The day arrived, I took my GPS - I even printed a map just in case - and I embarked on my 5.5 hour drive to my doom.

And....

It was totally and utterly uneventful. *wipes brow*

HOWEVER! I got some photos that I wanted to share. because I think the scenery was wild and beautiful. Of course, the pictures are from the car because I refused to stop and get out to take them :D I apologize in advance for the lackluster quality.



On my way there. Highway 40 runs from Flagstaff to Albuquerque.
THREE HOURS OF THIS. *dies*

HOPE. Scenery change. THREE HOURS of flatlands,
and I'm about to turn on my Indian Route. I'm also a little
scared at this point, but distracted by the colorful rock.



My PAVED Indian Route. *preens*

It was a very pretty drive, too! Sorry about the bug

splatter on my windshield...You already know

why I wouldn't stop...



My biggest adventure: avoiding livestock. There were NO fences along
the 30ish mile RTE. I drove through a pack of about 6 horses, happily eating grass
on both sides of the rode. And cows, and sheep...



Navajo country, and the reason for this blog.
Rock formations like this were everywhere! So beautiful.



And now I'm back "safely" in my hotel room, reveling in life and enjoying the scenery. :D Since I'm feeling so safe, I may even try and find some turquoise tomorrow...

Happy Tuesday!

When Torture Chambers Become Life Changing Ideas...

I have found inspiration once again, and this time it is from a very, very unlikely source.

Torture Chambers.

Yeah. 

The Medieval kind. 

Before you write me off as completely-crazy-and-so-sadistic-you'll-never-even-let-me-near-your-dog, please let me tell you WHY I found inspiration in the dark, cold chamber of torture.

Ahem.

Please take a moment to observe this castle:

Castello di Amorosa

This 107 room, 121,000 square foot castle is not in Italy. In fact, it's not anywhere NEAR Europe. It stands majestically in the hills of California's Napa Valley. But don't let its modern location fool you. It's got all the right parts: murder holes, dungeons, a moat, great hall, church, stables, loopholes (archer windows), room of whispers (MY FAVORITE!!)...it's even got a "working" drawbridge! (I say "working" because California regulations prohibited the "working" part. The crank and pulley system is now cemented.)

We paid for the tour, and it was about as private as you get. No, really. We lucked out because no one else had signed up for our tour time (group sizes average around 15). If you ever tour this castle, you MUST MUST MUST ask for Wendy. She was fabulous - knowledgable and spunky and soooooo much fun!

Me, Wendy, Margaret

Ben and me at entrance.

Iron work designed in Assisi - hooks used for tying horses

View from tower

Imported armor in weapons room

More imported. See the one with the huge gash?
The one with the pointed nose was used during jousting tournaments

Aaaaaaaaand construction all started in 1994. 

WHAAAAAAA?

Now, why, oh why, would someone decide to build a medieval castle in the 21st century?

This is where I (and hopefully you) become inspired.

It all began with a man named Dario Sattui.

He is a fourth generation Italian immigrant - his great grandfather founded the V. Sattui Winery in 1885 in San Francisco - and he was bound and determined to bring a piece of Italy, mixed with his passion for medieval architecture, to our own Napa Valley.

After 15 years of research, and importing a man from Austria with experience in medieval architecture, Sattui began building his dream. But that dream didn't come without challenges. 1000 pound doors, authentic stones and bricks , iron work from Assisi, a real Iron Maiden *shudders* - just a fraction of items hauled over from Europe. The entire project took 14 - FOURTEEN! - years to complete, and Sattui talks about a time when there was "No End in Sight."

Not to mention, people in the valley scoffed and sneered at "the man trying to build a castle." Try dealing with that when you're pouring everything you are into building your dream. Even if it happens to be the first modern-day medieval castle.

That night, we watched Moneyball (you know, the baseball movie with Brad Pitt). A line in that movie really stood out to me: "The first one through the wall always gets bloody."

And then I thought of Sattui.

When people do great things - the ones that really change the way the world works - those "successes" aren't met overnight. Sure, we see a gorgeous castle on a hill that happens to make great wines and we think OF COURSE it would be successful. Or we see a world-changing book series like Harry Potter (had to slip Harry in there somewhere :D ) that has movies and theme parks bringing it to life. But what we NEVER see is how those people struggled to get to that point. The times of doubt and despair, the sleepless nights and overwhelming sense of failure. But in the face of all the varying adversity, what all "the greats" have in common is that they never quit trying.

Even if all they wanted was to build a non-functioning, authentic torture chamber in their medieval castle. :)